Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
True but thats because hes a fetus.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Randomize
