I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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