Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize