i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Farmville is her only friend.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
