god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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