My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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