in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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