hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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