shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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