God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize