You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
