Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
