You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
