some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
