I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
