how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
