I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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