Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
