My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize