guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
