In the future we'll all be gay
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
