I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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