are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize