I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
