Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
