Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
