And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
