What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
