I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no you cant smoke seaweed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
