I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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