If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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