Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
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Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I party with great urgency now.
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