Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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