Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
