evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
