Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
