she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
