she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
