I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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