I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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