If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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