Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
