Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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