i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
