I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
