Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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