Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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