can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
