i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
