my mouth tastes like poor choices
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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