Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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