So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
