we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
