I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
