I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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