Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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