you guys were way drunker than both of me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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