D3 body, D1 cock
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have aggressive nipples.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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