Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
