We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
