I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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