They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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