hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
