whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
